Drakeford to celebrate final day in the Senedd with snacks, drinks, smack & strippers

The First Minister for Wales who is retiring from the Senedd this March, will be going out with a bang, we can reveal.

The Welsh Labour leader, known for his 20 mile an hour speed limits, will be stepping down but the party is stepping up, as his farewell night do was disclosed.

Party organiser Debra Von Shtick, says ‘He’s going all out. His mates have been involved so we know exactly what he wants. We are looking at a massive buffet, all you can drink, bit of smack, speeches, then strippers. His perfect night!’

Mr Drakeford's best mate Alun ‘Spice’ Grey told us, ‘All us who know him know he’s a hellava lad after few, so we’ve all chipped in. One reason Mark wanted the 20 mile an hour zones was 'cause when he’s half cut or perhaps had a bit of crack, he’s very slow crossing roads on the way home. Once when we’d had a bit of meow meow, we both stood like statues on the A4232 for hours, would’ve been lethal going over 20. We were fucked up.’

‘So we’ve got a fella coming down from Newport with a massive bag of brown for when we are all winding down. It’s the send off he deserves, we certainly won’t be doing 20 after all that!’