Christianity great option if facing sex offence charges

Getting into the Christian faith all of a sudden is a great option if you are facing historic sex charges, we can report.

A study shows that if accepted into the arms of Christianity then you don’t need to apologise for anything you’ve done because ‘Only God can judge me’ is now your answer.

The Very Reverend Peter Quill said, ‘We are currently accepting many a person with a good old sex charge on their backs. It works for them and it works for us. We can offer you a baptism which will wash you off your sins that you’re not admitting to. It signifies the end of your old creepy ways, in theory, and you can start again.’

‘All we ask is that you put a bit of the yankee dollar in the tray, and big God up a bit. You can mask it all you want in spirituality or whatever if that makes you feel a bit more intelligent about the whole thing.’

‘It’s worked well for many up to now. They also get more consensual puss-eyy’.