Train drivers are most mysterious people on earth

A report has revealed that the UK’s train drivers are more mysterious than the Loch Ness monster, Jack the Ripper and the Bermuda Triangle.

The report has shown the drivers to be more enigmatic than all the worlds most unseen and puzzling entities across the globe.

Researcher Dr Derek Quam said, ‘Nobody has ever seen one. We know someone is driving that train, we just don’t know who.’

‘Nobody’s knows a train driver. Yet across the country right now trains are continually being operated, where are they? Who are they? What are they?’

The Daily Flange tried to get hold of a train driver only to be given false leads, but an anonymous ticket inspector told us, ‘I once risked going to the front and I tried to see who was driving. Unfortunately I was stopped and to cut a longer story short, I was sent to work on Arriva Trains for the next 3 years.’