Town man with one hand on phone and other hand down pants to be new Diet Coke guy

A young man who talks aloud on his phone while his other hand is down his jogger bottoms, has been revealed as the new Diet Coke guy.

Josh Thomas and his friends can often be seen and heard leading their busy lives publicly on their devices, all while one hand keeps the private parts warm.

He said, ‘I was just being myself… phone on speaker phone, standing in the middle of the high street, hand down my kecks. I do get attention but it’s usually people overhearing my important calls to my misses about what time I’m meeting her or where the fuck she is.’

A Diet Coke spokesperson said, ‘He caught our attention, not just with the loud swearing at his partner down the phone, but the hand down the pants was quite unique. We could see the intrigue on passer-bys, was he keeping his genitalia warm? Was he playing with himself? Or was he giving shelter to a tiny bird? We had to sign him up!’

Josh added, ‘I was in fact tickling my balls.’