Tory voter thinks that cutting off his nose is good for his face

A conservative voter has revealed that cutting off your nose would indeed be beneficial for the face.

Mr Dennis Dennis has said after much thought and analysis he would prefer to rid his favourite nostrils feature in order to spite his face.

‘Yes I would get rid, I know it seems quite backward and nobody at this point understands it, I just can’t have it any other way.’

Despite other alternatives Mr Dennis will not budge as the fear of something else keeps him up at night. ‘God knows what’ll happen if I don’t do this, it’s bad now and getting worse but if I don’t do this now it’ll no doubt get worse than worse, which if you think about it, is worse.’

When asked if he was worried about the effects of his face in his home, he was confident it would be fine, and added, ‘Otherwise I’ll just burn my house down.’