Local toilet makeover: New handle on bucket

The local public toilets in the town centre have had a long due upgrade, with the bucket having a brand new handle.

Regulars were pleased work had been done having seen their beloved town loos go downhill. Keith Grib has been using them for over 20 years, he said, ‘With funding granted from the government levelling up scheme and some donations from us regular pissers, we managed to raise the funds for a top of the range bucket handle. This will be a real show of how we see the town going forward and a display of how great toilets can be.’

‘We have other ambitions too. We are applying for a lottery grant to buy some wall filler so this time next year we can have the glory holes filled in, for want of a better word. Some aren’t happy with that as that’s the draw for many out of town visitors but we can’t please everybody.’

A disgruntled regular out of town man said, ‘The handles are fine, about time. But the glory holes? The tourists will go elsewhere.’