Man gurning on ket fails to make BBC Glastonbury coverage 

A man gurning while on his third day of ketamine has been left disappointed as the BBC did not cover it.

Danny O’Brian says the BBC did not give full and equal coverage to all, he told us, ‘It’s not right. It’s the people like me who made this festival and have been here through it all. I seen them filming people dancing to Joe Wicks, not one of them was loaded.’

‘My friends and I have been absolutely blitzed since Thursday, my mate Billy thinks he’s a door knob, yet no sign of a roving reporter when we are cained in the middle of Strummerville. I feel like we won’t get a mention until one of us ODs.’

‘Back in the day, I remember watching someone get zoomed in on while having a whitey watching Prodigy. Now the BBC focus on security dancing to Shania Twain, what happened to the days when they had to stop people drowning in the shit pits?!’

You can watch security dance to Shania on iPlayer now.