Pope autopsy confirms overdose from Ket

The autopsy of the Pope has confirmed it was an overdose of Ketamine that killed him, we can reveal.

The Pope was known around the Vatican party scene for his high excess nights off from Mass and to many other party goers, it came as no surprise.

One told us, ‘It’s how he would’ve wanted to go. He would come and supply us poor with as much Ketamine as we needed. He never forgot us.

‘In turn, he never needed to ask for any Ket himself and boy did he take advantage of that. He would bless us all as he gurned away the night. He was with us the time our pal Bizzo was up for 14 days straight on ‘Spice’, the Pontiff called it a miracle and put Bizzo down on the list of posthumous Saints. He told that’s what saints actually were, the best party animals around their time.’

‘He admired The Happy Mondays greatly.’