JD Vance crawls back up Trump’s sphincter 

US Vice President J.D Vance has crawled back up Donald Trumps sphincter, we can report.

After coming out of it for the now infamous Zelenskyy clash in the White House last week, Vance has decided to retreat back up there until needed again.

Vance was concerned that the Ukrainian President might impress or out masculine Trump and so he made sure he had his bosses back with a series of jibes, followed by sweet glances toward blonde bombshell Trump.

Vance admitted, ‘That hobo, who can’t even afford a suit, thinks he can come here and talk to my Donald like that, he can grab his cheap ass coat and head back to that country next to Russia.’

‘My Don deserves respect and after that showdown I’ve offered to rub him down and give him my best foot and calf massage this side of Kentucky.’

‘After that, I’ll be taking my bed up our savour’s anus until the next time he needs me. God bless America!’