Dawnsio Gwerin to be used as prison punishment

The traditional Welsh folk dance Dawnsio Gwerin is to be introduced into the prison system as punishment for the very worst criminals, we can reveal.

The dance often triggers PTSD in former Welsh school pupils and so now it will be used as a retribution for those serving under his majesty.

Home Secretary James Cleverly said, ‘We know this dance sends a shudder down the spine of many who have danced it, and lived to tell the tale. Now it’s time for those serving to be held accountable for their awful crimes and we think prisons doing the Dawnsio Gwerin will act as a deterrent to those who break the law.’

Prison Warden Bill Cram said, ‘If you were to commit a crime then we can promise you’ll be in a bed gown and shawl while inmates clap and hop before lights out every night.’

‘We’ve seen the pain on the faces of the dancers and we will be seeing that anguish on prisoners' faces from now on. Charles Bronson watched some Eisteddfod yr Urdd last night and we won’t be hearing a peep from him for a while.’