Cyclist now thinner than the bike

A keen cyclist who takes it very seriously indeed, is now thinner than his bike, we can confirm.

Dan Watts has been cycling for several years but has finally achieved gold standard levels as his buttocks now fit within the seat diameter.

He told us, ‘I’ve worked really hard on this. It takes me two hours to put my gear on everyday. I put my lycra underpants on, lycra socks, lycra vest, then the all-in-one lycra onesie.’

‘Then I’m ready to get on the bike and do my 78 miles before work. The bike has been doing 140 mph since I’ve weighed less than my puncture repair kit so I’m wizzing past the traffic, not that they can see anyway. I can still get knocked off my bike unfortunately, the other day a fly flew straight into my side, so I’ve put an extra layer of lycra on.’