Beryl Crump’s exclusive interview with P Diddy

Flange: How you feeling about it all Diddy man?
Diddy: Well this ruddy baby oil thing has been blown right out of the water.
Flange: Why did you have a 1000 bottles of baby oil?
Diddy: My dry heels. Damn things are dry as a bone. Been using it since ’92 after Biggy recommended it, cleared up his sore elbows good and proper.
Flange: Where do you purchase such a large amount?
Diddy: Had a lil’ deal with Harrods
Flange: Are your friends rallying around you?
Diddy: Oh they’ve been damn right splendid, when I needed them, they were right there for me.
Flange: Is that because they’re locked in your house?
Diddy: Exactly man, and that’s real handy in situations like this. Every room I go into, there they are with a bottle of baby oil.
Flange: How will you recover from these allegations?
Diddy: I will keep doing what I do.
Flange: Making terrible music?
Diddy: Damn right.
Flange: And what will happen to the Diddymen?
Diddy: I don’t know know Diddymen.
Flange: Did you traffic them too?
Diddy: I don’t know know Diddymen!
Flange: Ken Dodd’ss Diddymen Diddy man!

At this point Diddy left the interview.