Stock market reacts to sudden surge of gilet sales in advance of farmers’ protest

Share prices have rocketed in agricultural stores such as Wynnstay after farmers and their sleeveless attire impressed.

The angry tractor men have featured on the national news, inspiring many a welly wearer to refine their style.

Farmer Gareth Ap Gareth told us ‘All the cameras are on us so I knew I had to get to Wynnstay. Got myself a Gilet, a fleece lined shirt and some socks. I also got some half round posts while I was there.’

Wynnstay yard man Kevin told us ‘It’s been a busy week, we’re looking forward to seeing a parade of gilets knowing we supplied them. We are hoping for peaceful protests, of course, but if the police were to get heavy handed we’ve supplied spray bottles filled with glyphosate. One face full of that and they’ll be wilting by the summer.’

One farmer will be interrupting his burying of asbestos to make sure he will be at the protest ‘I won’t stand by while my fellow farmers fight back. I’ve dug a massive hole for the asbestos and a couple of sheep to go in but that can wait. I’ve got my gilet and I’m ready to go!’