Nigel Farage set to win Rwanda seat in Election mix up

The Reform leader and Brexiter Nigel Farage is set to win a council seat in Rwanda in a mixup that has left him angered, we can reveal.

The slack mouthed politician told The Daily Flange, ‘This is ludicrous. My family and home are here and it wouldn’t make any sense for me to go on a plane and live there. It wouldn’t be safe.’

Despite Nigel’s fears the Rwanda government has insisted it’s fine, they said, ‘We are looking forward to welcoming Nigel so he can start his new life here. We will house him and make sure he has the essentials, although perhaps not a Weatherspoons. Also, locals may not be too pleased to see him as the papers tend to focus-in on the worst people coming over and he is definitely one of those.’

One local told us, ‘We are sick of these pompous, half witted, horse and hound loving people coming over here with their ‘ways’. They hang around cigar clubs and call each other ‘Ol’ boy’. We can’t afford to house a man who requires an abundance of shooting jackets and tweed flat caps. They’ll be thatched housed streets of blood!’