GP receptionist promoted herself to GP

A receptionist at a local GP surgery has given herself a promotion to be a Doctor there, we can reveal.

Helen Pritchard has worked at the busy medical centre for 15 years so naturally the time had come for her to give herself the role.

She said, ‘I’ve basically been doing the job for years anyway. I know all the patients and all their problems. I can diagnose someone in under a minute of any issue: big, small or terminal.’

‘You can hear a lot in the voice. One man rang up last year saying he had a giant lump in his throat and was very worried. I told him there was a lot of viruses going round at the minute and to take an aspirin. And that was that, never heard from him again. Ever. I have done that to many many patients already so really it is about time I was the main Doctor in this place.’

The Daily Flange tried to contact the other Doctors in the surgery for a comment but was told to ring back tomorrow at 08:30.