Child flung into school

A tired parent has flung their child into school, we can report.

Shelly Tigub has had quite enough of her child for the 7 weeks school holidays and so threw Joshua, 8, into the premises.

She said, ‘Normally you’d say it was a bit violent but in the grand scheme of things everybody understood. I absolutely launched him into that school.’

One eye witness said, ‘That was just the start of it. Once one was thrown the others followed. Those kids were like sacks of shit being chucked into canal.’

The headteacher told us, ‘We understand it’s been a difficult time for parents. Having said that later we will informing them of the exciting news of when half term will be.’