Breaking: Hamas finally release Sausages 

Leaders of the military group Hamas have released sausages after pressure from Sir Keir Starmer several months ago.

The Palestinian leaders were forced into the release when the Prime Minister called for it at the Labour conference in the summer.

Six Richmond sausages were reunited with their families after months of being held in difficult circumstances.

A spokes-sausage said, ‘It’s been a hard time not knowing when or if we’d be coming home. We didn’t know whether we’d be cooked, eaten or just left in the fridge. Thankfully we were left with just a few scrapes and bruises but nothing more than we get from an Asda home delivery.’

It’s been rumoured PM Keir Starmer received a lifetime worth of sausages for his part in the deal.