Bloke invests personality in Coat

A man with very little in the way of a personality has invested heavily in a coat to do the job, we can reveal.

James Duggan has told us he can no longer trust haircuts or conversation as a way to show his personality so he has made the leap and bought a jacket to do the job.

He said, ‘I can barely be arsed talking to people now but I still want people to know I’m the sort of fella who was young in the 90’s. I’d like the coat to show that I have been to festivals, not recently but years ago, and also to do the job where my T-shirts and jumpers are lacking. The coat will stay on during an evening, no matter how many litres of piss I sweat.’

James has said that since getting the coat, he has started to get some second looks, ‘Yeah, it’s nice to get a few looks again. It may be from 45 year old men with Pauline Fowler haircuts wondering where I got it but either way, this is me now. It’s like Naff Co 54 all over again.’