Aldi middle aisle now selling jet pack

Supermarket chain Aldi are now stocking a jet pack for vertical flight in its middle aisle, next to the dustpans and brushes.

With 6 turbo engines and a 1000 horsepower, customers can get an Aldi special deal whilst stocks last. Excited customer Glen told us, ‘They’re amazing. I’ve been sold loads of great things from the middle aisle over the years…mini washing machine, self washing dinner plates, everlasting soap, a diesel microwave but this is by far the most helpful as I can fly home.’

Speedy Till technician Carol said, ‘We’ve been trying them out ourselves. It just makes us even faster ‘cos I can get from the staff room to till 4 in seconds. That means I’ve got a little more energy to go ridiculously fast scanning the food. I’ve been beating my own speed records on the till now, before I could scan 4 boxes of Korn Flakies in 3 seconds, I’ve knocked a second off that now.’

The jet packs are priced £19.99.