Merthyr Xmas lights to be turned on by Ian Watkins from jail cell

Surprise in Merthyr Tydfil today as it was announced the Ian Watkins would be switching on the Xmas lights from his prison cell, we can report.

The former Lostprophets nonce will be streamed live to the town centre to turn on the famous town centre festive lights.

Mayor Dewi ‘Two bellies’ Thomas admitted, ‘We’ve made a mistake. We wanted the Steps fella and I’ve booked the other one. Obviously the one I’ve got is a massive paedo, which is probably why he was available and quite cheap.’

‘Unfortunately the contract has been sorted and we can’t get out of it now. Should get a good crowd though.’

Merthyr resident Mari Blink said, ‘This is the worst one yet. We had some fella off Pobl y Cwm a couple of years ago, then Lisa Scott Lee. I didn’t think it could get worse than that but here we are.’

Mr Watkins said he’s ’Looking forward to it’.