Man’s Dry January has no affect on anyone

A Man who undertook the so called ‘Dry-January’ has been left disappointed as it affected nobody, it has emerged.

Peter Falp made quite the scene over his social media and in messages to friends explaining he was doing the teetotal month. But it turned out, it made no difference to anybody.

Peter told us, ‘I thought it would make an impact. I naively presumed things would be a little quieter in the pubs without me.’

‘But people keep saying ‘oh did you do dry January?’ and I’m starting to think people didn’t notice me not drinking at all.’

‘It’s disappointing because I let so many people know. It’s hard for me to see how all my mates down the pub didn’t realise I wasn’t there necking my usual two and a half pints. I’d have thought the landlord would be desperate for the revenue I bring in.’

The landlord told us he has no idea who we are talking about.