FARAGE FOR PM: FIVE REASONS BRITAIN DESERVES HIM

The man who stood with Boris Johnson and ensured £360 million every week for the NHS could well be the UK Prime minister soon, and it’s no surprise…

1. World-Class Diplomat
“Bonjour, frogs” He has spent years insulting fellow Europeans, I’m sure they can’t wait to help him sort out immigration issues which are harder to do since he told everyone to vote for Brexit.

2. A Resignation Specialist
Why settle for one resignation when you can have seven? Farage has quit politics so many times that, as Prime Minister, he’d guarantee a leadership contest every Thursday.

3. Economic Mastermind
Who better to fix Britain’s economy than the former banker who campaigned to cut off its biggest trading partner? Expect bold policies like “Trading exclusively with the Isle of Wight.”

4. A True Unifier
Nigel has a rare gift: he can make half the country furious just by opening his massive mouth. He doesn’t like the Scottish or Welsh parliaments and would be prefer they didn’t exist so at last we can have a leader who takes back control of those devolved issues.

5. The Perfect Outsider
Farage never managed to get elected to Parliament, until he won his Clacton seat. But why let that stop him from running the entire country? He’s their MP without ever being there, how clever is that? Wales, Scotland, Northern Ireland and everywhere in England north of Kent can be the new Clacton. Exciting!