Welsh Ambulances to double up as Burger Vans

Ambulances sitting outside hospitals will soon double up as Burger Vans whilst they are there, The Flange can report.

With paramedics unable to use their skills as the Ambulances sit idly, they will now flog burgers and generate extra cash for the underfunded NHS.

Paramedic Alex Bower told us, ‘We were told just before finishing a spinal splints course. We had to do a 15 minute burger flipping. Turns out we are all pretty good at sorting out a top burger with ketchup and onions. Then turning our attention back to our task of preventing a severe haemorrhaging.’

A senior Betsi Cadwaladr board member said, ‘The end-tidal oxygen, pulse oximeters and defibrillators are very similar to the grill area and spatulas, so we feel it’ll be beneficial to mix the two whilst they wait outside the A&E.’

Burgers should take approximately 3 minutes to make and with Ambulances continuing to average 10 hours outside A&E, it’s enough time to flip 200 burgers, creating thousands of extra pounds to pay for care, PPE and bosses bonuses.