Top 5 Nob Billionaires

5. Richard Branson: A massive advocate for climate change whilst owning an airline. Needs to go and spend his money instead of trying to break world records in hot air balloons like anyone gives a shit.

4. Howard Hughes: No doubt an inspiration to the silly twat Musk after being an aviation pioneer. He became a recluse with mental health issues which included wearing tissue boxes on his feet to avoid germs.

3. Jeff Bezos: Thinks he’s a Geeky tech wizard but just created a faster Freemans catalogue in our opinion.

2. Mark Zuckerberg: Robotic and pale, a great example of what you’ll look like if you spend too much time online. Doesn’t fact check content anymore so hopefully the gerbil-fucking-bestiality fan will help this article gain traffic.

1. Elon Musk: With a lovely pair of boobs and capable of Nazi salute that ol’Adolf would be proud of, Musk is a rare one who is really loves science unless it doesn’t make him money. Also, didn’t invent anything just bought the companies. Best thing for everybody would be for him to fly himself to Mars…